When Humza Yousaf went to London and asked Rishi Sunak
for a second independence referendum it would have been amusing if Sunak had
said my dear Humza just because it’s you, I am going to grant your request. The
date you wanted was 19th October 2023, wasn’t it?
It would have been an interesting campaign if the SNP Westminster
group had lost the £1 million pounds and more that it would lose if it cannot
get its accounts audited in time. Who knows how much the SNP overall will lose
if it can’t appoint auditors in time also. Still there might be enough in the
kitty to put an advert or two in the West Highland Free Press and the Stornoway
Gazette.
It would have been interesting too to find out who
would have led the Leave the UK campaign as I don’t think Sunak would have been
so foolish as to allow another Yes/No referendum. Perhaps Nicola Sturgeon could
have made a comeback, only what if there were a TV debate and she found herself
unable to attend because she had to answer some other questions. Stirling may
have important associations with the cause of Scottish independence, but
Cornton Vale might not be the best backdrop from which to broadcast.
Alex Salmond might be persuaded to make a comeback,
but it might be almost as awkward to have someone who has previously been the
subject of a police investigation leading as having someone who might be
presently the subject of a police investigation. It rather gives the impression
that people who lead campaigns for Scottish independence are liable to be
subject to police investigations.
So, it looks as if it would have to be Humza Yousaf
who would lead the leave campaign and that of course would be right and proper given
that he is the leader of the largest Leave Party the SNP.
But unfortunately, the SNP does not appear to have a
plan for Scottish independence, beyond it being something that it wants. We
still don’t know how an independent Scotland would deal with the border with
England if it chose to join the EU. We don’t know how long it would take it to
join the EU and we don’t know how long we would continue to use the pound unofficially,
when it might become a Scottish pound and when that would become the Euro. In
fact we know almost as little about the SNP’s plan for independence as we know
about the motorhome (and why it was bought), the jewellery, the pots and pans
and the fridge.
But at least we can all take a certain comfort from
the words of Colin Beattie, the SNP’s former Treasurer who was questioned by
the police and released without charge. Asked about whether recent events were
the worst thing that a happened to him he replied “No, I was in Beirut
actually, while I was under artillery fire. That was worse.”
Humza Yousaf can then take comfort in his campaign for
Scottish independence that being in Scotland is at least not as bad as being in Beirut. There
is no danger yet of being abducted by Jihadist groups and chained
to a radiator. We are fortunate in Scotland to have avoided armed interventions
from the Israelis and the Americans. We don’t yet have refugee camps. It could be
worse. We could have actually voted for independence in 2014.
I have the impression that Mr Yousaf, apart perhaps
from Ms. Forbes who would make George Washington look dishonest, is by SNP
standards fairly honest. The reason for his honesty is that he genuinely didn’t
know about the motorhome, didn’t know about the lack of auditors, didn’t know
about the pots and pans nor indeed about the fridge. Somehow like Mr Smith going
to Washington (1939) he has ended up like some innocent abroad not knowing anything at
all while all around him is cunning and corruption.
Humza Yousaf didn’t know that Nicola Sturgeon had threatened to seize people’s mobile phones and check their emails. It was
all news to him when he somehow or other took charge and discovered the
motorhome. He didn't know about the lack of auditors, even though Blackford and Flynn knew. No
one thought to tell the poor sap Humza, because he was always and only a token,
to make the SNP seem just a bit less nationalistic and to attract a certain demographic.
But now your campaign for independence is actually going
to be led by someone who knows nothing about anything. Right in the middle of
your campaign who knows what might happen. If we found out about jewellery,
pots and pans a fridge and threats to seize mobile phones in last weeks Sunday
Mail, what will we find out next week?
In 2014 the independence campaign could have been
completely destroyed if there had been a leak even suggesting what was later
alleged about Alex Salmond. Imagine in 2023 if we had such a campaign, what might
we find out this week or next week or just before the vote?
But Humza Yousaf has to ask for a second referendum just
the same, even though it is completely obvious that neither the SNP nor Yousaf
actually wants one any time soon. He has to ask for the referendum because if he
didn’t the SNP supporters would cease joining and cease giving their hard
earned so that the SNP can buy still more mobile homes.
Sturgeon still tells us that nothing that has happened
since her resignation had anything to do with it. Yousaf tells us that he wants
a second referendum when we know he doesn’t at least not now. Blackford tells
us that he told Flynn about the lack of auditors when Flynn took over, Flynn says
he found out later in February, but no one told Humza though Flynn supported
Humza’s leadership bid.
These people are so used to lying that they have lost
all sight of what truth is. It is this that is at the root of all the scandals
that we have found out about and all the scandals that we are likely to find
out about in the next few weeks and months. It is this that forces Yousaf to
deny that the SNP is a criminal organisation and admit that he is surprised
when colleagues are arrested. It is this that makes Scotland not quite as bad
as being under artillery fire in Beirut.
If only you were Scottish Sadiq, you could wear a tartan tie just like me.