Quite a lot of us are going to spend considerable
amounts of time at home in the next few months. Social distancing will mean
that we will have almost no social life. There will be no opportunities to meet
up and most of us will not have the daily routine of commuting and sitting
in an office. All of these things are happening because of a physical illness, but
it will affect how we think and how we feel too.
I believe that the mind has a very powerful affect on
the body. People who believe they are going to get well, who remain cheerful
and hopeful and full of faith have a better chance of recovery than those who
don’t. But when faced with an unknown unseen danger each of us has
uncertainty, fears and anxieties about what might or might not happen in the
months ahead. But these fears won’t help us, and they may hinder our morale.
Better by far to be optimistic, not least because it is the realistic response
to this illness.
We all have both physical as well as mental health.
Most of us think that mental health is to do with other people, but this is a
mistake. In response to certain events each of us is capable of feeling grief,
profound sadness and trauma. If you had been a soldier in the First World War
you too might have suffered what was then called “shell shock”.
Some of us are better socially than others. Some of us
have the good fortune to have a loving husband or wife, brothers and sisters,
friends and relations. But lots of people don’t have these things. Marriages
don’t work out. Friends move away. Sometimes we move to a new place where we
don’t know anyone. Older people in particular frequently live alone.
Some people deal well with being on their own, others
struggle, but loneliness is a huge problem and it can kill just like a virus
can kill.
There is no shame in being alone and being lonely. It
could happen to any one of us and probably will in the next few months.
We need to think about those people in our lives who may be lonely. Why not make friends
with someone who doesn’t have many friends? Make a phone call, chat on Skype. Make contact with those you know and perhaps don't know even if we all have to keep our distance.
I believe social media can help as well as hinder
mental health. Those people who shout and swear at people they don’t know
should think about the damage they might be doing. On the other hand, sharing
friendly messages, discussing issues in a pleasant and reasonable way can bring
each of us some social contact even if we are stuck at home. We can look after each
other’s mental health even when we may for a time have to keep our distance. We can't catch anything on Facebook or Twitter.
Most mental illness is short term and in response to
specific circumstances. There is little or no stigma about this. No one judges
Prince Harry because the death of his mother was traumatic. Likewise, if
someone’s wife dies and he suffers a period of depression most people would
consider this to be normal. So too if a teacher is off work because of stress
they are very unlikely to suffer any prejudice.
There are however mental health conditions which are
chronic. They are sometimes called scary words, but they may also be just
long-term depression for which the person has to take some pills every day to
stop it coming back. The biggest problem
people with these types of conditions face is stigma. The prejudice is worse
than the illness. It is for this reason that people don’t talk about their
illness. They are scared of how they will be judged.
The thing is that most people with long term mental
health conditions can live ordinary lives with few difficulties. One of your
colleagues may have such a condition. They probably don’t talk about it, partly
because medical matters are private, but also because they just want to get on
with their lives.
But would you make friends with someone you knew had a
long-term mental health condition? What about if it had a scary name? If you
were single would you go out with such a person? Would you marry them?
This is the stigma that Prince Harry knows nothing
about.
Mental illness like physical illness can be long term
or short term. Someone can break a leg and get better or they can lose a leg
and be permanently an amputee. But while no one would attach a stigma to
someone with a broken leg there is frequently stigma about both physical and
mental disability.
Each of us could face a long-term mental health disability.
It can happen because of our genetics. It can happen because of trauma such as
warfare. It can happen because a short-term depression turns into a long term
one. When we get older, we may suffer dementia, a stroke or some other mental disability
connected with ageing.
But whether long term or short term, physical or
mental each illness could happen to any of us and may well. But there is good
news. Just as people with physical illnesses can do amazing things, so too can
people with mental illnesses. The same determination that the physically
disabled show when they take part in sports, the mentally disabled can show in
living completely normal lives.
If you are struggling with mental health, be positive.
Reach out to others if you can. Above all be patient. It will get better. There
will be smiles again. There will be laughter. There will be love. There will be blue birds. Just you wait and see.
We all face both a mental and a physical battle in the
months ahead. Be kind to those who are ill and judge not. Illness like death
and disability “comes equally to us all, and makes us all equal when it comes.”
