If you ask the question will an independent Scotland be separate from England, the answer is obviously "yes." The alternative answer of "no" would mean that Scotland had not achieved independence. Alternatively if you ask will the the 300 year old union of the UK break up when Scotland becomes independent, the answer is likewise obviously "yes." The alternative would again mean that independence had not been achieved. Finally if you ask the question would this process involve a divorce, the answer once more is self-evidently "yes", otherwise the marriage of the UK would continue to obtain. The SNP may not like the language, but the language accurately reflects what they propose to happen.
It's always better to call a thing what it is. If a person is in favour of independence he will not object to words like "separation", "break-up" and "divorce." On the contrary he will be happy that all three will occur. The SNP know however, that the majority of Scots don't want independence, for which reason they are trying to imply that independence will not really change anything. Thus they think it is vital that certain words, which accurately reflect what they propose, should be banned. Fundamentally they are trying to prevent the Scottish public from gaining a full understanding of the implications of independence. When the Republic of Ireland became independent did it separate from the rest of the UK? Yes. Was there a break up of the former relationship? Yes. Was there a divorce? Yes. Is there anything negative about describing the situation as such? Do Irish people find such descriptions insulting? Not all, because they are in favour of being a separate country, they are glad that they broke up with Britain, they are pleased that there was a divorce. Does anything in this imply anything negative about Ireland and its relationship with the rest of the world including Britain. Not at all. Ireland is one of our closest allies and best friends. Scotland could, of course, be like the Republic of Ireland, but let's not forget what this means. Eire is a foreign country like France. If I lived there, I'd be a foreigner and would be described as such. Moreover although we get on well now, it was not always so. Divorces can be bitter and Ireland's divorce from the UK was particularly so, giving rise to civil war, partition and the troubles and in the end an Irish merger with the EU. Independence does not always give rise to improved relationships between countries, as the example of the former Yugoslavia and USSR ably show. Where's the social union there? The rest of the UK is really beginning to grumble about Scotland and the discord the SNP has been sowing is liable to make any divorce bitter and contentious. Without cooperation and good will from the rest of the UK, an independent Scotland would really struggle, but when did divorcing couples ever behave with good will and cooperation towards each other? The average SNP supporter, in reality, is not at all offended by supposedly negative words. Rather he is is looking forward to separation, break up and divorce. But he and his party leadership know that two-thirds of the Scottish public still favour the union, so an attempt is being made to somehow confuse the Scots public by implying that independence does not mean separation, break-up and divorce. The futility of this is shown by the BBC's use of the word "militant." Does using this word change our attitude to the thing? If you call people who blow up others "militants", rapidly the word "militant" take on all the connotations of the word "terrorist" and then you have to come up with a new euphemism. Does the SNP really want to be associated with such media practices, with an escalating scale of euphemisms for the very thing they're supposed to most want? The SNP should have the confidence in their cause to call it what it is and put it to the Scottish people as such. An independent country can only be a success if the vast majority of the public give their consent and want it. If the SNP con the Scottish public into an independence that they don't really want, there will be bitterness and division for decades. Only if Scots are able to fully comprehend the implications can a rational choice be made. Luckily whatever words are used, there are unionists who will fully explain the implications and the Scots people are canny enough not to be taken in by the SNP's Orwellian Newspeak and attempts to create thoughtcrimes.